Only a fool would visit New York and not go to Brooklyn (2024)

Former New Yorker, Dominick Merle is proud to be a one-time “Brooklyn bum”. Sure, Broadway is a NYC must-do but if you want a genuine Big Apple experience, visit Brooklyn.

In returning to one’s roots, there is often a single defining moment that lets you know your journey is complete, and mine came at the intersection of Montague and Clinton in Brooklyn Heights when I heard a heartwarming shout that almost brought tears to my eyes:

“Hey! Get off the streets — you bum!”

That greeting came from a passing motorist to a pedestrian, and with a friendly wave and a smile to one another, they were off on their separate ways.

For those not born here or familiar with “Brooklynese,” being called a bum is a term of endearment reserved for close friends, and sometimes even relatives qualify unless, of course, there has been some bad blood. Obviously, using it to greet someone you do not know could cause some serious problems.

The exact origin of this tricky exchange is unclear, but back in the early 20th Century the beloved Brooklyn Dodgers baseball team were unofficially known as “Dem Wonderful Bums” with the nickname later shortened to simply “Dem Bums.”

They were and still are Brooklyn’s all-time favourite bums. And to this day the very mention of the name Walter O’Malley, the owner who in 1957 moved the baseball team from Ebbets Field in Brooklyn to greener pastures in Los Angeles, is ranked right down there with the likes of Hitler and Josef Stalin.

Read More: 10 fantastic areas to stay in New York if you’re on a budget

So in Brooklyn, one must earn the right and respect to be called a bum. That’s what real friends are all about here. And for the first time in more years than I care to remember, I felt like a true bum again.

There are numerous statistics claiming that one of every seven Americans can trace their roots to Brooklyn. This was the first stop for the boatloads of immigrants arriving from Europe, simply because there was plenty of land here — including farmland — whereas Manhattan real estate was already scarce and pricey. Brooklyn farmers fed the five boroughs at the time. Today the words Brooklyn and farmer seem like a mismatch.

I made my return here in grand style with my wife Susan, who was making her maiden voyage, by walking across the Brooklyn Bridge from Lower Manhattan, roughly a 45-minute stroll. Our agenda was arranged by one of those walking tour agencies and our guides, Mark, and his son, Matt, peppered their descriptions with eye-opening remarks like:

“The East River is not even a river.” Mark went on to explain that it was a tidal strait and a part of the Hudson River, “but of course, that would ruin all those gangster movies about bodies being dumped in the East River.”

The next big line came from Matt:

“The first part of Brooklyn we will set foot on was originally called South Brooklyn, although it’s actually North Brooklyn, but it’s south of Manhattan and Manhattan always wanted to be the centre of the universe and still does, so even today some people living in North Brooklyn think they’re in South Brooklyn.” That was clear enough.

But in fact, the first area under the bridge is known as DUMBO, an acronym for Down Under the Manhattan and Brooklyn Overpasses, and its real estate prices are fast approaching Manhattan numbers. Old abandoned warehouses and industries have been transformed into million-dollar-a-room condos. Brooklyn has become the in-place to live these days, and DUMBO is its most prestigious location.

After a stop at the Brooklyn Tourist Office to pick up some old-time maps and brochures, we began our walking tour and within a few minutes, I heard that “Get off the streets — you bum!” welcome home shout. Brooklyn doesn’t puss*-foot around. Sometimes it whacks you right in the face, just like Cher did to Nicolas Cage in the movie Moonstruck which was filmed right here in Brooklyn Heights.

By the way, a ton of famous stars came from Brooklyn, like Barbra Streisand, Rita Hayworth and Jerry Seinfeld, to name a few. Of course, there were also a few bad apples in the Big Apple that we don’t like to talk about, like gangster Al Capone.

We walked to a park area between 4th and 5th avenues where Mark pointed to an old stone house in the distance and delivered another attention-grabber: “If it wasn’t for what happened there back in 1776 during the Battle of Brooklyn, we’d probably all be speaking Canadian today.”

“We’re from Montreal, Mark,” I responded.

“Right, then you probably already know about it,” he responded.

Up until then, had someone mentioned the Battle of Brooklyn to me I would have equated it with a showdown between mob families or rival street gangs over turf. But as Mark explained, an important battle did take place here between George Washington’s troops and the British Army, and while the Brits won the battle primarily because of their superior manpower (roughly 30,000 troops against 3000), the heroism shown by some 400 members of a Maryland Brigade hardened the resolve of the American Army.

The British troops had occupied the old stone house when the Marylanders kept attacking against insurmountable odds. Half the Marylanders lost their lives in the battle, but their valour was like a victory call for the rest of Washington’s army.

The stone house was demolished in 1890, and then rebuilt with many of the original stones in 1930. It is open to the public today and is officially known as The Old Stone House, highlighting Brooklyn’s largely unknown contribution to the Revolutionary War.

We caught a bus to the Park Slope area, Brooklyn’s most scenic neighbourhood with rows of beautifully preserved brownstones. This is also the home of Prospect Park and its Grand Army Plaza featuring the magnificent Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Arch built in 1902 to honour Civil War heroes. The arch looks every bit as impressive as any of the imposing gates and arches in Europe. Within the park area itself are the Brooklyn Museum, the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and the Prospect Park Zoo, all first-rate attractions.

Then we headed south (the real south), using both subways or buses, passing through a number of other districts on our way to Coney Island, the last train stop. We stopped in East Flatbush, known as Little Caribbean because of its immigrant island population, and then Flatbush itself, made famous by all those movies over the years.

Borough Park is home to the largest Orthodox Jewish population in the United States, and Bensonhurst, the next stop, is Brooklyn’s Little Italy.

Coney Island was our final subway stop, and while the amusem*nt park is merely a shell of its glory years, the district itself is alive and well. We took a bus to nearby Brighton Beach, commonly referred to as Little Odessa since it is the largest Russian community in the United States.

Another short bus ride brought us to Sheepshead Bay, where my grandparents first settled after arriving from Italy at the turn of the 20th Century. After a fish dinner, we bused back to Coney Island for our subway ride back to Manhattan, and said our goodbyes to our guides.

“Take care, you bums!” Matt shouted, “and tell everybody coming to New York, do see Broadway but don’t miss Brooklyn.”

On the subway, I kept thinking about a famous movie scene between Marlon Brando and Rod Steiger in “On the Waterfront” when Brando said, “I could have been a heavyweight contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am.” (Ask your uncle if you don’t remember the movie).

I turned to my wife out of the blue and said, “I could have been a bum, instead of just another travel writer, which is what I am.”

I’m sure she had no idea WTF I was talking about.

SEVEN THINGS TO DO (OR NOT) IN BROOKLYN

1. Have a slice of traditional New York pizza, so thin you can eat three.

2. Complain about the people moving in from Manhattan who are driving up housing prices.

3. Go to Coney Island and talk about how fantastic it used to be.

4. Eat a Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog and pretend it’s still great.

5. Exaggerate about the number of famous people born here. Toss in anyone you want.

6. Don’t act hoity-toity or put on airs. People will think you’re daffy.

7. Never, ever go to boring New Jersey, except to visit close relatives you haven’t seen in at least three years.

For more things to do in New York, see visitnewyork.com